Tired...

Sometimes I fail at sharing.  I'm not good at putting feelings into words, I've never had to be, cuz no one has ever asked.  I'm really tired though, and at times I don't think I realize how much I can matter.  No one really asks though, just why or how are you? I need prying, and I need to feel like what I say won't be taken as offense.  Because in the end, I will share what's wrong and then I'm told I'm wrong or the person thinks I meant it negatively towards them or something... ugh never mind.  It doesn't matter.  It never does.  I fail.  I always do.

Enough of that negative nancy-ness.  I'm off to Scotland in a few weeks.  I can't wait!! I'll be off to adventures and freedom!! Ha, I guess that's how I've seen Scotland as freedom.  I hope I meet a bunch of new people, and make new friends, and find new favorite places!!  Then I have another two months of summer before my life is consumed by grad school, and I get to move into my new apartment, and get my giant bed of awesomeness and couches too.  Ha, it should be great I hope.   My cat may need a sibling as well, she has gotten attached to Arwen.  I don't know though, I'll see how she survives on her own. 

Well I'm off to bed.  It should be a pretty awesome day tomorrow.  I plan to go on a hardcore walk. 

Overt Oddities

So, yah. I like someone. Which is very rare for me. In fact if I hear my roomie say exactly how odd or weird it is that I smile so often when getting a text one more time I'll probably start questioning my sanity. Ahhh, well beyond that. It looks like I have a future. I am in graduate school. I'm surviving school, I'm not surviving work very well. I want a job in which I barely have to think for a while. Is that so wrong? I just want a job that I can get paid to do, that is repetative, and mediocre.

I got an apartment on main street, that should be pretty fun to live in. Who knows what issues it will have, but I'm sure I'll have fun with them. My roomie Mitchy left. Which is sad a little bit, but I know he is doing something he's always wanted to accomplish, so it makes it a whole lot less sad.

I REALLY REALLY WANT SOME SUSHI. I'm sorry. I'm hungry, and I want to be fed. *sigh* but it will be pasta probably for supper. Which will still be yummy!

Actually I don't have much reason for the post, beside I find my life oddly content at the moment. I like it. I'm happy. Let's stay this way kay?

Promising Plans

I finally did it. I got a tattoo. I have wanted one for so long that it is almost shocking to actually have. If not for the occasional sting of pain I wouldn't notice it. It looks beautiful. It has the words Master of Fate entwined in vines on my left foot. I got this based on the end of my favorite poem that I will post at the end of this blog. Eventually I plan to get Captain of Soul on my other foot. Someday perhaps even more of the poem somewhere else. It was a great experience. I was with two great friends, and I know I'll always remember when I look at it. It gave me a sense of freedom to have a tattoo finally. It meant a lot. I feel grown, I feel independent. No one can control me. I am myself. Nothing more and nothing less. I need no one. I stand strong. It is just a great feeling.

Invictus

William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

for my unconquerable soul.

~

In the fell clutch of Circumstance,

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of Chance,

my head is bloody, but unbowed.

~

Beyond this place of wrath and tears,

looms but the Horror of the shade,

and yet the menace of the years,

finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

~

It matters not how strait the gate,

how charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

~