I met a lot of people in Europe. In fact, I even met myself. I know that is hard to explain, but when I was abroad I discovered who I was. The person I wanted to be, and the future I hadn't realized I was in search off. It was a place in which I had myself to rely on, and realized I could stand on my own. I was my own person, I steer my own life.
It was wonderful. It was inspiring. It was unforgettable. I cannot wait to return and feel everything I felt there once more. Sadly, being away has made those feelings dwindle and fade. The ease in which I had began to experience life slowly faded, and I feel like I can't grasp that perfect understand I once had.
I still have the memories, and every once in a while I gain that self assuredness I had absorbed there, but sadly those have been few and far between lately. Maybe I'm in a quarter life crisis. Maybe I'm just at the moment when I'm fully emerging into adulthood and haven't come to terms with it. Regardless. The world is beautiful. It is a wonderful place. Sadly it isn't experienced everywhere.
Here in Wisconsin or Minnesota, I don't feel like I'm apart of something huge. I just think about the political madness surrounding my country. I fear who will be the next President. I fear their ideals. I can't help but wish that if every single politician had their own experience abroad, away from the rich and the poor, just with themselves in the world. That they would be good people.
I'm just nostalgic for my past travels. I miss them. I remember them. I want to relive them. Sadly that isn't in the cards for me any time soon. Someday though. Someday.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Cranial Conundrums
The creation of my new blog was inspired by one person and one person only. He questioned me on facebook, refused to understand me, and over all rejected my opinion/degraded me. It was in that moment I realized that I had grown up. It is weird and odd to say it like that, but honestly that was the thought process and realization that happened.
The fact that someone who idolized and grew up wanting to be the most like basically was not agreeing with my opinions and actually being quite cruel about it, didn't effect me. I didn't want to change myself to please him. I didn't want to conform. I was just me. Even though, this person may now dislike me and there may be repercussions for standing my ground. I do not care. I was me. I was true to myself, and I have never felt more empowered!
It shouldn't be hard for anyone to figure out who this person was if they try looking hard enough, but regardless I don't care. I'm sure putting such thoughts and feelings on the internet are silly, and the fact this will be linked to my facebook page is probably sillier. I do not care, because maybe some people who don't understand me will just a little bit more by reading into my odd little thoughts and quirks. Plus, the title of Blogger is not only fun to say, but also fun to be. I like the idea of no censorship!
Hmmm, so basically this blog is going to be the craziness that goes on in my head. The things that matter to me, the fights I get in, the situations that confuse me, the things I am passionate for, and above all else it is going to be a free and safe spot for my ideas to be shared, because Facebook directly seems to be a bad choice when it comes to my family members, though I do hope some of them read this. Maybe it'd help them out, like a little cheat sheet? Honestly though they'd probably just say 'it's gay'.... which is sad.
First of let it be known I hate the phrase 'that's so gay' and 'retarded'. I used those words in middle school and high school, and honestly I'm still ashamed no one told me to stop sooner! Thankfully I got a wake up call by a Professor at Riverland. I didn't even realize how often I used these phrases until it was pointed out. I haven't uttered them since.
I would like to think that human beings have a larger capacity to learn more words to describe things they think are stupid or difficult, but I know that I have been proven wrong many many many times before. So, I guess I won't hold my breath.
In closing today I think I'll end with a good ole Dr. Seuss quote directed towards a role model I lost today...
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss
The fact that someone who idolized and grew up wanting to be the most like basically was not agreeing with my opinions and actually being quite cruel about it, didn't effect me. I didn't want to change myself to please him. I didn't want to conform. I was just me. Even though, this person may now dislike me and there may be repercussions for standing my ground. I do not care. I was me. I was true to myself, and I have never felt more empowered!
It shouldn't be hard for anyone to figure out who this person was if they try looking hard enough, but regardless I don't care. I'm sure putting such thoughts and feelings on the internet are silly, and the fact this will be linked to my facebook page is probably sillier. I do not care, because maybe some people who don't understand me will just a little bit more by reading into my odd little thoughts and quirks. Plus, the title of Blogger is not only fun to say, but also fun to be. I like the idea of no censorship!
Hmmm, so basically this blog is going to be the craziness that goes on in my head. The things that matter to me, the fights I get in, the situations that confuse me, the things I am passionate for, and above all else it is going to be a free and safe spot for my ideas to be shared, because Facebook directly seems to be a bad choice when it comes to my family members, though I do hope some of them read this. Maybe it'd help them out, like a little cheat sheet? Honestly though they'd probably just say 'it's gay'.... which is sad.
First of let it be known I hate the phrase 'that's so gay' and 'retarded'. I used those words in middle school and high school, and honestly I'm still ashamed no one told me to stop sooner! Thankfully I got a wake up call by a Professor at Riverland. I didn't even realize how often I used these phrases until it was pointed out. I haven't uttered them since.
I would like to think that human beings have a larger capacity to learn more words to describe things they think are stupid or difficult, but I know that I have been proven wrong many many many times before. So, I guess I won't hold my breath.
In closing today I think I'll end with a good ole Dr. Seuss quote directed towards a role model I lost today...
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss
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